You don't have asthma, your pregnant
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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