You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
