me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
