I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
