i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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