i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
