thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize