Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
