dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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