oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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