Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
