I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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