I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize