Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
