Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
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