I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
