So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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