You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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