Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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