This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
