How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Randomize
