marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Randomize
