Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
