i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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