the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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