I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
