i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize