Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
