WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
