I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
