I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
