Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
