I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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