why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
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I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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