I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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