Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
