I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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