Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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