my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
