u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
