You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
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