Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
