it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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