I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
