but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize