and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
