you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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