He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Your penis caused this!
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize