awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house