I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one