So drunk, too bad you don't want this
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!