you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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