Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together