I bet he comes in French.
i barfeds in our rink
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
