gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
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You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
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No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.