I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
These 23 People Had Sex With Someone From Completely Different Cultures
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
25 Medical Facts That Need To Be Common Knowledge
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes