Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer

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(281): View more from Texas

I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?

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(856): View more from New Jersey

I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.

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(949): View more from California

if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous

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25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Read it at the TFLN blog
(262): View more from Wisconsin

He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.

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(646): View more from New York

People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.

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(208): View more from Idaho

I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones

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(631): View more from New York

It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.

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