The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
