Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
