hell yes lets make some ravioli
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
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I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.