Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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