Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
