Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
