Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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