Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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