FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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