my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize