so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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