I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
