So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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