I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
