i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
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