She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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