What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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