I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Randomize